Jos, the city that raised me

3^rd and final part of “but I was just 14.

Aunty ini lived in the heart of Calabar that was where all the activity took place. She was so happy to see me and was very hospitable. Her house was very big and she looked very wealthy unlike how she was in primary school. I found out that she went back to the university after she left my primary school to get a degree in medicine. She was now a medical doctor at an international hospital with a branch in Calabar.

One day, she came into my room and hugged me for about 5 minutes without letting me go. She said it wasn’t my fault that any of that happened. She told me that sometimes, bad things happen to good people and those good people have no control over those circumstances. She hugged me and we both cried. I was relieved. I felt better. That was the first time since the incident I felt loved and not worthless. That was all I needed to hear. I wanted to hear that it didn’t happen to me because I was a bad person. I wanted to hear that that was not the end of everything going on with me. Aunty Ini said that and many more and we sat talking in my room for close to about two hours. I was going to stay at her house throughout my pregnancy and when I finally gave birth, I was going to leave the child with my mother. That means we had to find a way to talk to mother and stop her fanatic beliefs that made her believe it was okay to judge people because they didn’t do things the way she wanted them to.

I stayed at Aunty Ini’s house for about 2 weeks. We couldn’t travel back to Abeokuta immediately because she had things to do at the hospital that were urgent. So after 2 weeks, we went to Abeokuta together. Aunty Ini is somebody mother respected a lot because although she was younger than mother, aunty ini just had this charisma and influence on mother.

When we got to Aboukuta, I entered the compound first because Aunty Ini was trying to find a parking space for the car. As I entered, I saw mother fetching water from the well. I greeted her and went ahead to collect the bucket from her. But she just hissed and went inside. I couldn’t do anything or say anything at that moment because I actually had nothing to say. What was I supposed to say? That I was sorry? Or that I …I don’t even know? What exactly would I be sorry for? That a boy raped me? How was that my fault? Mother didn’t want to hear anything at all from me so I just waited for Aunty Ini. When she came into the compound, we entered into the house together. As soon as mother saw Aunty Ini, she smiled so broadly I couldn’t even believe she was the one I saw some minutes back. She hugged her and they spoke about all that had been going on with them. I went outside and gave them space to talk.

They spoke about it for a very long time, close to4 hours because apparently, mother wanted to make her beliefs seem right. But as calm as Aunty Ini always is, she calmly explained to mother why it wasn’t my fault they spoke about the baby and aunty ini told mother that I would spend the next one year with her in Calabar before I begin school again. Mother was okay with everything and it was amazing the effect aunty ini had on mother.

I gave birth to a bouncing baby girl who I named Aiyemidayo meaning My world/life has turned to joy" OR "My world/life has become joyful/delightful.

I took her back to Abeokuta for mother to raise while I finished school. From secondary school, Aunty Ini sponsored my education at the University of Stanford to read psychology. Today,

I own an NGO which helps girls that have had similar experiences in the past to get over those experiences and it helps such girls see the brightness of their future. I’m glad and I’m happy. I am fulfilled and I am happily married to a man who despite all I told him, took me in like the best jewel he has ever attained. I am happy because I had someone to encourage me and tell me that none of that was my fault. I had someone to hold me and cry with me. And every day I say to myself, “mo yin oluwa fun aye mi”.(I thank God for my life).