from mckinney hammond
Embracing the triumphs of the feminine
Spirit
Episode 19
This is an excerpt taken from one of my role models,
Michelle Hammond’s blog;
I
wish love just happened but it doesn’t. If you don’t work your relationship,
your relationship will not work. That means you have to dig in, do the work to
keep your love alive and thriving. That means you have to communicate. Have
meetings to handle your business. The business of love that is! Any company
that wants to grow takes the time to take stock of their progress, locate the
weak links, what is not working and reconfigure accordingly. Don’t leave your
emotions open to assumptions. My mother always used to say, the word assume
broken down makes an “ass of you and me!” The donkey version, not the curse word
version 
But it is true. Things are
never what they seem, therefore do not assume. Ask questions, speak the truth
in love, and help your partner love you. They won’t know how to unless you tell
them and show them. Be a living example of what you expect. Don’t
frustrate your partner with unspoken expectations. Misplaced expectations are
the enemy of every relationship. Guard against it. Nurture a non-threatening
environment to share honestly how you are feeling and what you need from your
partner. When they get something right celebrate what they did so they will do
it again! Take your time, breathe in, breathe out and calmly state your case
minus attitude. Don’t make your partner feel as if they need to defend
themselves, empower them to want to meet your need. First examine if you are
meeting their needs, don’t leave yourself open to the distraction of their
unmet needs while highlighting yours! There is no room for pride in a
relationship. Jesus thought it not robbery to leave the lofty halls of heaven
to come and die for us. We too must be willing to die to our “rights” and
discover our rights hidden in Christ. There is a difference between having a
healthy understanding of your value and being ruled by pride. One knows
how God wants you to be treated versus how you want to be treated. And remember
Gods standard will always be higher than yours! In this life, there are
no lights, camera, action in the romance department. No quick fixes that
magically happen. That means we have to keep it real! While being really
loving. Pursuing peace, growth and reconciliation. That is the purpose of
relationship, to make us all closer to God and one another. In the end He
is glorified and His kingdom multiplies because you make Him look good in your
relationship. So end the fantasy of being whisked away on a white horse and be
willing to walk it out with your partner. Trust me, it works!
But it is true. Things are
never what they seem, therefore do not assume. Ask questions, speak the truth
in love, and help your partner love you. They won’t know how to unless you tell
them and show them. Be a living example of what you expect. Don’t
frustrate your partner with unspoken expectations. Misplaced expectations are
the enemy of every relationship. Guard against it. Nurture a non-threatening
environment to share honestly how you are feeling and what you need from your
partner. When they get something right celebrate what they did so they will do
it again! Take your time, breathe in, breathe out and calmly state your case
minus attitude. Don’t make your partner feel as if they need to defend
themselves, empower them to want to meet your need. First examine if you are
meeting their needs, don’t leave yourself open to the distraction of their
unmet needs while highlighting yours! There is no room for pride in a
relationship. Jesus thought it not robbery to leave the lofty halls of heaven
to come and die for us. We too must be willing to die to our “rights” and
discover our rights hidden in Christ. There is a difference between having a
healthy understanding of your value and being ruled by pride. One knows
how God wants you to be treated versus how you want to be treated. And remember
Gods standard will always be higher than yours! In this life, there are
no lights, camera, action in the romance department. No quick fixes that
magically happen. That means we have to keep it real! While being really
loving. Pursuing peace, growth and reconciliation. That is the purpose of
relationship, to make us all closer to God and one another. In the end He
is glorified and His kingdom multiplies because you make Him look good in your
relationship. So end the fantasy of being whisked away on a white horse and be
willing to walk it out with your partner. Trust me, it works!
Follow
her @mckinneyhammond on twitter
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